I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER. I FOUND HER.
I THINK I FOUND HER. JAMIE YEO'S LONG LOST SISTER!!!
Time warp, life leech and.. Geez, I'm starting to sound like a dota character.
Are we really THAT busy? No, really. Think about that a sec. Somehow, alot of us claim that we're busy, we have no time, we can't do this and that because there isn't enough time. But thinking about it, we actually do. Instead of doing critical things like studying, taking out the rubbish, cleaning your room, meeting that friend, cough*blogging*cough, etc. What we're really doing is lazing in front of the tv, bumming around, surfing useless webpages (NO, SHUT UP. SOCCER IS IMPORTANT) and playing useless games.
We take the easy way out half the time. We make excuses. We blame it on other things and other people. We tell ourselves (and others for that matter) that this or that's not important enough for you to handle right away. We blame it on other people, saying that they're taking up too much of our time. Critical assignments which we put off till too long tend to end up kicking us in the cornhole. Damn essays and writing. At the end of it, we take easy ways out: Put in less effort, pump in more empty lines, or, best yet, leech other people's ideas and work and call it our own. (Which can be illegal boys and girls!) Get your own damn ideas. Get inspired. Read a book. Watch TV. Eat doughnuts. Chew your toenails. Watch paint dry. I don't care what you do, get your own damn ideas.
No matter how much we whine about it, essentially, 24 hours goes on the same for each person. Financial planning? How about Chronological Planning? A life skill that we really should be learning as we go on in life, it's important to budget time for ourselves, our family, friends and well, if it's applicable to you, most importantly, God. (In whatever form you believe in). Like a very nice quote on Matt's shirt yesterday: "Give God what's right. Not what's left".
__________________________________________
By the way... NEW Miss Singapore World!
Miss Pilar Arlando! Pretty, eloquent, angmoh! Steady.
___________________________________________
Yes! Moving right along to the I.R. - Idiot Report.
P, p, p, p, painful face.
Yes, yes, idiots are everywhere. Just like today when one poor sec school kid promptly smacks himself face first into a glass door. I won't say where this happened because IF I do, it's incredibly easy to guess where the kid is from and well, let's just say I don't want to attract more attention to him than he already did.
Remember Mr. Lonely?
Mr. Lonely, quite a few months ago felt really lonely so he decided to play around by himself. *nudge nudge* He decided to use a toy, a.k.a. a plastic mineral water bottle and well, let's just say that when Mr. Lonely became Mr. Happypants, something got stuck somewhere, needing a critical emergency operation to remove the waterbottle before Mr. Lonely became Mr. Eunuch. Moral of story? Don't. Use. A. Plastic. Bottle.
__________________________________________
Oh and by the way, I do want to brag (sorry! HA) about the total nonsense AND work that I've done on Photoshop the past few weeks:
Done in 10 minutes:
K.I.A's new slogan
Done in 30 minutes:
The founding members of K.I.A
Done in 1 hour:
Brand new logo, designed and drawn from scratch for project
Please kindly note the increased quality of nonsense work with more time taken.
Today's Song: How far we've come - Matchbox Twenty
MRT Watch: Before entering Kallang station tunnel: Bright sunshine.
After exitting tunnel at Redhill: Overcast skies with pouring rain. Nice. *#&^@&*
Confucius says: Grasshopper. When I told you to get on the coach, I meant for you to get on the tour bus. I didn't mean for you to hump your badminton coach!!
In totally unrelated news: This is a global blog! Steady sia. I've had quite a few visitors from the US of A, one from Sweden, one from France, one from Canada and even one from Iran!
My, my. Where do I begin? I called it. I freaking called it. Ris Low was gonna start some major chain reaction and I called it. I pride in being on of the first few to actually write about her even before the whole wave of newspaper and tv coverage came. (Yeah, like that's something to actually covet) Anyways, I'm glad I started the ball rolling with the "inside scoop" among my circle on friends, "early innovator", the early minority who are "in" before the rest of the people are. But ah well. Turns out that Ris Low, Miss Ris Low, our wonderful, excellent, EPITOME of Singaporean single ladies (all the single ladies, all the single ladies) has done in herself once again. Where do I even start?
Something..... you know...... BOOMZ First she starts by insulting every little bit of the engRish language by yammering on about her bigini and her kahki green. I don't care that her chinese language is fluent and well spoken. I don't care if she can speak 10 languages other than english. English is the first language here, the most recognised, live with that fact. If we wanted a chinese/malay/tamil speaking Miss Singapore, we would have gone out and hired foreign talent like Singapore ALWAYS does.
Community Ambassadress 2009, Miss Lumiere Ambassadress 2009, Miss Best Dressed 2009, Miss Dazzling Eyes 2009, Miss Photogenic 2009, Miss Crowning Glory 2009, and Miss Best in Catwalk 2009 and finally Crowned Miss Singapore World 2009 Apparently she SWEPT the field at the Miss Singapore World pagent, bagging 8 (READ: 8!!!) awards, including eventual crown. Give me a break. Notice how all the awards were for her pretty face and none for "Miss Eloquent". If she bagged all those awards, I shudder to think if the rest of the contestants were really THAT bad.
Yellow Ribbon Project Ris Low should be really glad that the government has been stepping up their yellow ribbon project publicity recently. The campaign talks about giving ex-convicts a second chance in life and to unlock the "second prison". Well. Good for Ris as she's been convicted of credit card fraud. 24 months probation.
Bipolar Disorder Well, apparently Ris has been diagnosed for Bipolar disorder relating to Kleptomania. (Mental disease that causes a person to repeatedly steal things). This happened after being convicted and the whole saga started to spiral dangerously out of control. What next?
Miss Singapore World 2009 no more Well, credit to her. After initially refusing to step down, she finally has. Not that it's a victory for anyone or anything like that, more so, it's more like a relief that Singapore will not be MISS-represented (excuse the pun) at the Miss World pageant held at South Africa.
4 weeks to find a replacement Apparently, news reports say that ERM will take 4 weeks to find a replacement. Well, I can do them one better. Off the top of my head right now, I can think of at least 10 girls (I'm serious.) who are better than her and can more than represent themselves and Singapore. I took 45 seconds. ERM needs 4 weeks.
At the end of it all... What's my point? At the end of this, what do I really want to get out of it? Well, my point is that this saga's over. Time to finally leave her alone. Time to get on with your damn life. She wants to change, she wants to stop. So, enough ridicule, we've all had our "fun". Ris, if you do happen to ever read this, I wish you nothing but the best in your life from here on end cause things can only get better from here on end when you're at the rock bottom.
P.S. Take english lessons baby.
Today's Song: War Machine - AC/DC
MRT Watch: 7.30am trains are the worst. Even sardines in a can have more room.
Confucius says: Man at airport who go through gantry sideways is going to Bangkok.
In totally unrelated news: Tips on becoming a better "free sample grabber": 1) Don't laugh uncontrollably when you go take the samples. 2) Don't poke and poke and poke multiple pieces of food on your toothpick. Poke two, three pieces in one shot 3) Don't walk around with crazed look in your eyes and toothpick(s) in hand 4) Don't hide behind people and giggle when you get your free sample 5) Pretend to be interested, then take your food, then casually walk away 6) Don't run away cackling in triumph when you manage to grab a bunch free samples 7) You have 2 hands, but use only 1 toothpick. Not one hand, one toothpick.
Ari, I hope this helps! Our very own lovable mooncake free sample yau gui
I was on Facebook the other day and my good friend Jonan posted this:
I looked at it for a moment and I realised and I posted. I thought it would be really funny to see King Leo holding an M16... and I think I might be a little bored:
Damn..
Today's Song: Snow Eh Oh - Red Hot Chili Peppers
MRT Watch: I notice one thing: WHY. WHY do I smell someone's B.O. in the morning, when everyone "supposedly" has bathed before heading to work?
Confucius says: Man who left his refrigerator running is one who SHOULD HURRY THE HELL UP AND CHASE IT. (Or get psychiatric help)
In totally unrelated news: Suddenly I'm all into card tricks and card flourishes.. COOL!
Hello my beloved students, your all knowing Master of Alsonism is back to teach and enlighten!
Here are my teachings about life and living that I wisely impart to my loyal students: (and other random tidbits)
- There is no purpose without meaning. I.e., if there is no meaning to life, then there is no purpose for you to live isn't it?
- Does a color exist if there is no word for, or to describe a color? Does the color orange exist if there is no word for "orange"?
- If you start something with someone, be sure you got the moxy to actually finish it.
- "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther King Jr. (ARGHHHH 2 page evaluation on Martin Luther King's speech!!)
- Ever wondered what armpit hair is used for?
- "You are supposed to change the world. The world isn't supposed to change for you." - The Als
- "Opinions are like mobile pones.. everyone has one. Some are really useful, some only look good on the outside, some are useless, some are old and some are modern." - The Als
- What the hell is "BOOMMS?"
- Why do men have nipples? We can't feed babies!
- Why are we called Singaporeans? Why couldn't it have been Singaporlese or Singapolish or even Singaporenese?
- Men have 3 types of tops: Shirts, T-Shirts and Singlets. Men have 3 types of bottoms: Jeans, Pants and Shorts Women have: Shirts, t-shirts, halter tops, spaghetti-strap tops, tank tops, tube tops, jeans, pants, shorts, skirts, miniskirts, tube dress, evening gown, sun dress, Capri pants.....
- For those who have watched X Men Origins: Wolverine,
Did you know that Wolverine screams: WAAARRRRRAGGGHHHH!!! - 6 times throughout the whole movie VICTORRRRRRR!!! - 5 times throughout the whole movie
- Dogs smell each other's asses for their equivalent of name, D.O.B, address, race and such. Thank God we as humans don't need to do that.
Today's Song: Feeling This - Blink 182
MRT Watch: One carriage smelt like pee today.. I wonder why...
Confucius says: There is a saying, young grasshopper: "Man with bird in hand is worth two in the bush." However, remember young grasshopper.. Man with bird in bush is probably urinating inside it.
In totally unrelated news: Mae Sta Maria! Mae Sta Maria!
It was just recently that something was brought to my attention.. which.. kinda ties up to what I've been meaning to write about ever since it happened.
Recently, Mel and I were on the MRT, as usual, (or "The Tube" as my English cousins call it), and just generally ranting about those not giving up their seats, as usual, to those who need it the most. Mel was making comparisons of the culture in Beijing and how some things could be probably adapted into our MRT culture. After which, some brave soul decides to pip up the stone hard courage to talk to us and said:
"Excuse me, I heard about what you two were saying about Singaporeans and I was thinking about it. I got something to say as well"
But that's what's really at hand isn't it? It's not the question of whodunnit, foreigners or locals, but it's more the question of how can we improve. The problem in the first place is identifying the problem! Now, I'm not all perfect but I consciously try to own up to what I did and then address the issues as much as possible, so help me God. The curious thing is that this aunty - a living, breathing example of the everyday commuter who suffers the same injustices as the rest of us, can refuse to own up on behalf of the collective Singaporeans who break the rules of social etiquette on the MRT! That's just it. Failure to actually identify the problem in the first place! No wonder the daily MRT commute is always frustrating for most people.. not because of the quality of the MRT, but because of the people around you. The MRT quality's great by the way! Proudly, best in Asia me thinks. Wish I could say the same thing for the people.
Issue is this: People just refuse to own up and take social responsibility. Or simply, people just refuse to own up to reality. It's always "It isn't my fault!". Well, as (former) President Clinton said once "It depends on what "IS" is." My point exactly. It depends on what is! If reality is that you are at fault then there's really no going around it is there? That's the thing. Some people are like that really, who refuse to own up to reality and still persist to live in their own made up fantasy that they're always right somehow, someway. Like MRT aunty. Like someone in each of our lives we have experienced at least once before. Hell, even ourselves even! I said it the last time I wrote, I said it before and now I'll say it again. "It's not my fault" heard that one before? Singapore idol boy, aunty on MRT, and other various infamous people who we've all come across one time or the other. well, I say, one time is one time too many!
Disclaimer Wait.. I digress. I clarify my last entry was about A BUNCH OF people who: A) Flood my facebook with status messages (approx. 3 of them) B) Flood my facebook with game messages about some Farm and some Zoo and some fishing game (approx. 7 of them) C) Casual bloggers who talk about where they went D) All examples were metaphors pertaining to me and my experiences. Any and all relation to anything is merely conincedental. If you - somehow - find what I say - somehow - targetted at any one single person or you, then you're a very, very sad individual.
Now, for the benefit of those who think that I'm in no position to comment because of my non-existent street cred.
AND/OR
Those who feel that I'm going all high and mighty, coming from a vaunted position of hallowed values and systems imbued into me.
AND/OR
Those who think that this (and for that matter, the rest of my entries) are direct insult shots to the heart.
AND/OR
Those who think I'm making references to my faultless and pristine upbringing, shamelessly gloating about it and making you feel all crummy inside:
I say two things:
1) I am not in a position to judge and I am not. Problems we are guilty of, me included. I merely comment on issues that surround all of us in our daily lives, me included. If you think I'm judging or directly insulting you or doing a good self-blowjob of highlighting my holy values then it's one of two things:
- You're an idiot.
- You're a sad, sad, defensive, sensitive prick.
2)This.
Today's Song: Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon 5
MRT Watch: New trend: Share priority seats! Share the blame! Share the shame! (more to come soon!)
Confucius says: A wise man no play leapfrog with unicorn.
In totally unrelated news: I found her name! Singapore Idol contestant: Mae Sta Maria. My prediction: Mae's in it to win it!
